Do you suffer from anger issues, as cliched as that may sound? Do you have anger issues? Are they affecting your life and that of others as well? It’s probably time to release your troubled thoughts. How to control your anger…
All harmful behaviors are a result of the desire to avoid or numb core hurts.
What do you think about an anger management discussion based on Core Values and Core Hurts
Do you know them?
We’re heading there. We have the perfect teacher…
Dr. Steven Stosny
Dr. Steven Stosny, a psychologist, author and speaker, is an expert on anger, abuse and violence. He is the founder of Compassion Power, and a regular in the media.
You’re about read a highlight reel from Dr. Stosny’s work. You may want to refer back to this information in the future. It would be wise to save or print the article.
Let’s go…
What is anger?
Anger is the most self-revealing of all emotions. It is the emotion that makes us fight.
The anger we feel is a direct reflection of the state of our Core Value. This is a cry for helplessness. The more we react, the more we feel powerless.
Power? Power is the ability to make decisions that are in our best interest. Blame makes us powerless, whereas responsibility gives us the ability to improve our lives.
The role compassion
To get to the point we want to be in this article, it is important to learn. Let’s look at Stosny’s perspective on compassion.
- Compassion is more important than love, because love without compassion can be controlling, possessive and even dangerous
- Understanding our core hurts and others’
- Love others to make us feel loved
- Even when we disagree with the behavior or perspective of others, we can still recognize our core value and those of others.
- Motivation to do what is right
- It is not the same thing as forgiving or condoning offenders
- Reestablishing relationships is not the same thing
Compassion is a powerful healer and can protect us from core hurts. Remember that the more hurt we feel, the harder is it to feel compassion.
Last but not least, compassion demands assertiveness. It requires us to stand up for our feelings and rights. We need to get comfortable with compassion because it ultimately reduces anger.
What is core value?
The Core Value is the next component. This is our most profound experience of ourselves and the foundation for our security, happiness, self-esteem and creativity.
We can’t do anything wrong when we are in touch with our core value. When the urge to control or harm comes, you can bet that your Core Value is a shattered mess.